Momming Grownups and growing up once

I feel reflective on this fall day, so I’m going to risk thinking about aging and parenting.

Being the mom of young adults is really hard. In one way the job at hand is letting go and encouraging them to do more things alone. On the other, staying intimately (inextricably?) knit into their lives seems natural. You love them beyond reason. It’s even interesting to ponder whether you love them more than anyone else ever will.

Of course, even if you’re the mom, you’re a separate person. If things work out for the very best, you are destined to die first. That thought puts my job as a mother into sharp relief–I cannot make my children too dependent on my love and care, because ultimately that’s no kindness.

Maybe diving too deep into your young adult child’s life is a bit vampiric–to grab and live another life and lifetime. Their worries are like your old worries–life all over again!

The balance? I struggle to remember to enjoy the shared time we get to have. So much for parents to keep learning as we move through the different stages of growing up!


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